Stories from experience and observations
I observed that there are men of the majority race who seek to retain their souls.
Opting for jobs as bartenders, servers, and coffee makers.
Opting out of the world where interruptions are competition and sexual innuendos are a part of the workplace banter.
These men appear happy and at peace with their life choice.
But what are they missing? Would it have been more fruitful to take part in the dance of their brothers?
Yes, college is more affordable for the kids of company men; winter vacations in the mountains are occasions to create social envy,
fast cars, and fancy dinners are the language of their cohorts.
But is this a benefit?
Described in the Holy Scriptures, our lives are like fog, we are here today and gone tomorrow.
Are the trade-offs, missed holidays and cold turkey dinners worth it?
If not, is it pursued out of boredom?
Oh, What absurdities are done in the name of boredom.
I stop cooking thyme into my scrambled eggs.
My husband hates the aromatic plant.
He says it gives the eggs a weird, earthy,
groundish sort of taste. He is so much of my joy, I oblige.
I heard a story of an older man who wanted a baby with his younger wife.
After trying for years, he suggested they see a doctor – she declined.
She believed that babies should happen naturally.
Over time they grew apart; he wanting kids, she unwilling.
They later divorced.
I guess that is what love is, what it requires of you.
If you love someone: you try for them, you sacrifice for them,
you go without for them, and sometimes love requires you to visit
a doctor for them.
In my case, love means I go without thyme in my eggs.
Men who live in fear.
It is amazing how much we rescind to fear regarding our lives, instead of taking action that empowers and gives us a voice.
As my husband and I sit in Barnes & Noble, which is sort of a weekly ritual for us that involves overpriced coffee and oversized chairs, we realize it’s an enjoyable activity we do together. Today, we find a man of “lighter pigmentation” who seems to have lost his courage. Anyone who comes up the escalator or sits near him with a “darker pigmentation” is a victim to his long stares and subtle gestures. He shifts back and forth in his chair as if to say, "if you don’t leave, I will."
The past couple of months have been strained in America, as it relates to race relations. Dallas has seen its share of the unthinkable when five officers were killed in the line of duty at a rally. But, should we live with fear and trepidation now?
I think not.
We should not be fearful of each other because it is through community, communication, and the sharing of ideas we become each others’ salvation. An example of that would be, a man seeks out a recovery community to address his addictions. There, he finds like-minded individuals that reveal to him he is not alone and that there is grace on the other side of his dependence. In my case, community with compatible people provided me with a mirror to the issues that I could neither see, nor address on my own. Community provided me with accountability and a place to lay my burdens down.
There is no fault in needing someone. It is the ego that plays a vicious mind game on us. The ego challenges us to take on the world alone under the pretense that no one understands and no one cares. But not even Jesus himself subscribed to such an ideology. He had twelve disciples who walked with him and who provided him with companionship, conversation, and support.
Who are we in the light of this revelation? Do we not need each other? Do we have to live in fear of tomorrow or can we place ourselves in the center of our community, plant our feet and find purpose and healing?
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